Life Decissions

This has been a tough week for me! I have taken my life and looked at it for all sorts of angles, forgetting the most important view of my life is the one God has.

Last Friday I decided to go back to work. That is when the constant headache began. I decided that God must not realize that we just don't have the money that we need! I decided to take the matter into my own hands. Forgetting what God has called me to do. What God's plan has been for my life.

This week God has brought to so many places in His word to show me what I need to be doing. The first place He brought me was into Jeremiah.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

I used to come to this first part a lot during the uncertain times. Remembering that God does have thoughts and plans for me. But if you read on He says He will be there when you call upon His name, when you pray to him and He will listen. When I seek my Lord, I WILL find Him! And so that is what I did. I called upon His name, I sought Him, I cried out to Him and I waited to hear. For He knows the plans! Not I, not you, not anyone else.... He knows that plans and thoughts He has for my life. Plans of good and NOT of evil!

That brought me to the book of Judges, where we find in chapter 2 Israel disobeyed God. That through their unfaithfulness and disobedience, He allowed the consequences to come upon them. But every time He was just. He brought up several judges to help them see their path was the wrong one. And the one that stuck out to me was with Deborah. She told Barak to go and to Kedesh and fight. But he was afraid and instead of trusting God he asked Deborah to go with him. She did, and God did get the glory, but the praise was not given to the man God had wanted to. He gave it to the woman who was the one who killed the commander.

Lord, I don't want to be the one who only half trusts you! I want to fully trust you. To fully trust those plans you have for me of good and not of evil!

So I sought Him more! I remembered what I was doing here. I remembered Deuteronomy 6.

"Hear, O Lord of Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Am I loving You Lord, with All my heart? with All my soul? with All my strength? I was not, I am ashamed to say. You, Lord have called me to teach them diligently to my children. To teach Your ways. To show to my children, that You will Always provide, Always have a path, and Always be the way, the truth and the life.

I was then brought to the the last line in Ezekiel.

"and the name of the city from that day shall be THE LORD IS THERE." Ezekiel 48:35b

Are people looking at my life and saying, "that is where the Lord is?" Are they passing by noticing that I live my life different, for the Lord and not for this world?

Proverbs 31 gives us a clear idea of what a virtuous wife should be.

"Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her,
so he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
all the days if her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
and willingly works with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
she brings her food from afar.
She arises while it is yet night,
and provides food for her household,
and a portion for her maidservants.
She considers a field and buys it;
from her profits she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength,
and strengthens her arms.
She perceives that her merchandise is good,
and her lamp does not go out by night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
and her hand holds the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor,
yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household is clothed with scarlet.
She makes tapestry for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates,
when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them.
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing;
she shall rejoice in time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and on her tongue is the law of kindness.
She watches over the ways of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
Many daughters have done well,
but you excel them all.
Charm is delightful and beauty is passing,
but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her own works praise her int he gates."
Proverbs 31:10-31

I desire to be the one who can bless my husband, bless my children and watch over the ways of my household.

And when I started remembering what my true desire was, I remembered that God will give me that desire.

"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your ways to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday."
Psalm 37:4-6

So as I was going to be working out of the home, God reminded me to have faith, hold on to my trust in Him and He will guide my paths. He provided for even the sparrows, then why would He not provided for me?