"What If?" Days

Actually more then what if, how much?

The question of the day is How Much?

How much could I get done, if the kids went to school instead of homeschooled?

You can pretend that you have never asked that, but I am 100% sure every homeschool momma has thought this at least once in their journey. Today was my day to think this. And as quickly as I thought it, the answer came to me.... A TON!!!!!!

But then I thought, what would my life look like?

How much would I miss gaining all this time for me?

How empty would I feel?

I know homeschooling isn't for everyone. And I totally get that. But it what God designed me to do. Not that I thought of homeschooling as a child, because I just plain did not. I didn't even really know about it till high school and then I thought that was the weirdest thing ever. But I did in fact get my teaching degree so that when I had kids, I would be off when they were off, be home when they were home. I needed that. I planned it. God planned it.... So on days when I feel like "WOW, my house would be spotless or I would have time for whatever." I have to step back and look at what God designed me to do. I don't need a ton of sleep - perfect for have a houseful of children. I hate being alone - perfect for having a houseful of people. I go a hundred miles an hour from the time I wake up till I crash - perfect for keeping up with my kiddos. I can think about 12 thing s at once time, while teaching pre-algebra, spelling, correcting grammar and teaching colors - not bragging, clearly a gift from God! I LOVE to plan! School assignments, vacations, holidays, parties... whatever. Planning is my thing. I get giddy when fall rolls around and Wal Mart stocks up on pencils and paper and staples and glue sticks. And then as I was rocking my 2 year old tonight and Tylor and Melodey were playing a game on the gamecube and Alex was talking 100mph about his new 3DS, I got tears in my eyes and had to smile. No the house isn't perfect (4 kids live here), but it's not a disaster either. No my dishes weren't done from dinner (but that will happen after the kids go to bed). No I am truly happy because this is what God designed me to do. And I realized that once you find what you were meant to do....it all just CLICKS! Life my not be perfect, but my life with Jesus means getting up at 6am just to have alone time with Him, and going to be at midnight so I get time with Brook. It means while listening to Melodey read me yet another animal book, we sit on the tub because we are potty training too. Or we all climb onto the couch and snuggle up for a new movie, just because it is raining and we can have snuggle time. I wouldn't trade my crazy, no sleep, always going, always trying to finish a whole thought, potty training, teaching algebra and zoology, crafting, cleaning, constant laundry pile for all the time in the world! I love my life in Jesus!